Review of “Ghoulies II” (1987)

We’re still on delayed viewing with Svengoolie because of our bout of Covid. I’m enjoying it—the delayed viewing. Covid was wretched. We zip through commercials and get to choose an earlier start time, which leads, of course, to an earlier bedtime. There is indeed a silver lining to every cloud.

And then there’s this movie…

Plot:

A priest (Anthony Dawson) runs through the woods carrying a bag with something squirming inside. Three men in red robes—could they be Satan-worshippers?—chase him. The priest breaks the glass on a door in a closed car repair place and ducks inside. The three Satan-worshippers run by, look in, and decide no one is around. He notices a frothing open barrel marked “TOXIC.” All the cool car repair places have them, so they say.

The priest thanks God for the opportunity to destroy demons and dumps his bag’s contents into the barrel. Out of nowhere, a flying demon knocks him into the barrel.

In the meantime, our hero Larry (Damon Martin) is driving with his soused Uncle Ned (Royal Dano). The radiator in their truck needs water. Larry uses the CB to call ahead to the carnival where they’re headed to let them know they’re having mechanical difficulties and may be late.

Uncle Ned and Larry run the “Satan’s Den” house of horrors at the carnival. Their truck has a banner to this effect, complete with drawings of horrors and some goofy-looking things that bear a striking resemblance to the ghoulies.

Of all the repair joints in all the towns in the world, Uncle Ned and Larry pull into the one where the demons are swimming in toxic waste. The hair on one demon is dry. A red-tinted human skull floated with them.

After ascertaining that the place is closed, Larry gets water. Uncle Ned walks around. The ghoulies/demons break the lock in the back of the truck and move in. They’re going to the carnivals.

The next day, little person Sir Nigel Penneyweight (Phil Fondacaro) works at the carnival gate as P. Hardin (J. Downing) drives up. Sir Nigel is an actor who quotes Shakespeare. Hardin is a member of the family who owns the carnival—and the business accountant. He wants to meet everyone and tell them that if they don’t start bringing in the receipts, he’s going to let them go, and that includes Satan’s Den.

Yeah, bad guy.

Thoughts:

This movie had nothing to do with the first in plot or characters. One could easily understand it without having watched part one. Or, one could easily go about the day without watching either.

As soon as they set up shop in Satan’s Den, the ghoulies murder one of the dancers, Patty (Ames Morton). Patty thinks she hears her lost cat, Muffy, meowing in Satan’s Den. It is a cat (?) ghoulie. The ghoulies dress Patty up to look like a prop mummy.

This follows one of the many tacky exchanges of dialogue.

Patty: Have you seen my little Muffy?
Zampano, the strong man (Romano Puppo): Who hasn’t?
Patty: I mean my kitten, musclehead!

Muffy’s fate is never discussed.

It’s all fun and games, of course. The kids who go to the House of Horrors take the ghoulies for props and think they’re cool. They tell their friends. One spoilsport gets upset when a ghoulie breaks his boom box (“My tunes!”). The ghoulies vomit on people. I guess they must have seen The Exorcist.

I laughed once throughout the whole movie. A ghoulie was at the shooting gallery, shooting at two other ghoulies who were ducking between the various targets. It was just goofy. A shortened version is in the trailer, so if you’ve seen the trailer, you’ve seen (IMHO) the best part of the movie.

The big improvement over the first movie is that the ghoulies appear for a while as stop-action figures in addition to puppets. The writers give the viewer some less-than-credible character development. And, of course, the evil green baby ghoulie crawls out of a toilet, much to the detriment of a deserving individual.

We get hints of a sequel—which I’m not going to watch.

Altogether, I can’t say I enjoyed this movie. It wasn’t as much mean-spirited—though there was a bit of that—as it was just empty.

I couldn’t find it available for free download. You have to pay to see this turkey. I advise buying yourself a cup of coffee and reading a book you enjoy.



 

Title: Ghoulies II (1987)

Directed by
Albert Band

Writing Credits
Charlie Dolan…(story)
Dennis Paoli…(screenplay)
Luca Bercovici…(characters) (uncredited)

Cast (in credits order)
Damon Martin…Larry
Royal Dano…Uncle Ned
Phil Fondacaro…Sir Nigel Penneyweight
J. Downing…P. Hardin
Kerry Remsen…Nicole

Released: 1987
Length: 1 hour, 29 minutes
Rated: PG-13