I’d been waiting to see this one for a long time. Everyone I know who’d seen it told me it was a great movie. Long story short, it did not disappoint. It is more than a Godzilla movie.
Plot:
Near the end of World War II, kamikaze pilot Kōichi Shikishima (Ryunosuke Kamiki) lands his plane at the repair base on (fictional) Odo Island. Lead Mechanic Sosaku Tachibana (Munetaka Aoki) tells him the crew can find nothing wrong.
“What are you implying?” Shikishima asks and storms off to sit by the beach. He notices deep-water fish rising to the surface.
Tachibana approaches. “I’m on your side,” he says. “Why die honorably when the outcome [of the war] is already clear?”
OUCH.
That night, Godzilla comes ashore and attacks the installation. Tachibana tells Shikishima to fire on the monster with the 20mm guns in his plane. Shikishima runs to his plane but freezes. He and Tachibana are the only survivors. Tachibana understandably is furious. He later gives Shikishima a packet containing the personal pictures belonging to all the lost men.
Shikishima returns to a devastated Tokyo, where he learns his parents were killed in the bombings. Upon recognizing him, a neighbor, Sumiko Ota (Sakura Andô), tells him, “Weren’t you a kamikaze? If you had done your job, my children wouldn’t have been killed.”
Almost accidentally, Shikishima finds himself setting up a household with a woman, Noriko Oishi (Minami Hamabe), and a baby she rescued. The neighbor who yelled at him now helps them raise the child because they are helpless.
After working several low-paying jobs, Shikishima comes home to say he’s found a good one with good pay—aboard a wooden minesweeper. What could go wrong?
Thoughts:
Many years ago, I read a science fiction story whose main character came to believe—however reluctantly—a god had been born of the nuclear bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. I will never remember the title or the author’s name.
The movie doesn’t claim that, but it speaks to how fundamentally the bombs rocked Japanese society. The locals around out-of-the-way Odo Island know Godzilla. When they see deep-sea fish come to the surface, they know Godzilla will follow. Radiation from American experimentation with nuclear power after WWII supercharges him to the point where he can overturn aircraft carriers. His fire-breath sets off explosions that look very much like atomic mushroom cloud. Conventional weapons are useless against him.
The devastation at Odo Island haunts Shikishima. He wakes screaming from nightmares. The theme of his personal redemption runs through the movie, beginning with the unconventional family that just sorta happens. He cares for them but cannot let himself show affection to them. He tells the child not to call him “Daddy,” for example. Later, he has a chance to face Godzilla.
Another theme is that of the common people, G. I. Takao war vets (so to speak), redeeming themselves and saving Japan from destruction when Godzilla strikes. Neither the Japanese nor foreign governments offer much help, so the people must go it alone. The people’s army also cares for its members. Unlike those under the Imperial Army, no one is expendable.
This is a different Godzilla movie, but it pays homage to history. Odo Island was Godzilla’s home turf since the original in 1954. Generally, the movies are about the monsters. Human stories are minimal. Like the original (particularly the Japanese version of the original), it offers anti-war and anti-nuke messages.
It garnered fifty-four nominations and thirty-eight wins, including 2024 Best Film and Best Screenplay from the Japanese Academy.
We watched it on Netflix. The English dubbing was excellent. There are also English subtitles. It’s available to rent or buy on places like Google TV or YouTube. Some services may not have the English dubbing, however.
All in all, a fine flick.
Title: Godzilla Minus One (2023)
Directed by
Takashi Yamazaki
Writing Credits (in alphabetical order)
Ishirô Honda…(original creator) (uncredited)
Takeo Murata…(original creator) (uncredited)
Takashi Yamazaki…(screenplay)
Cast
Darren Barnet…Koichi Shikishima (voice)
Nelson Lee…(voice)
Ell…Noriko Oishi (voice)
Minami Hamabe…Noriko Oishi
Ashley Peldon…(voice)
Ryunosuke Kamiki…Koichi Shikishima
Zeno Robinson…(voice)
Kagga Jayson…Boy #5
Sakura Andô…Sumiko Ota (as Sakura Ando)
Greg Chun…Tachibana (voice)
Released: 2023
Length: 2 hours, 4 minutes
Review of “Scream Blacula Scream” (1973)
This week’s Saturday pizza and bad movie was a return to the cheesy flick of yesteryear—a vampire pic to boot.
Plot:
The film opens with the death of voodoo adept Mama Loa. Her son Willis Daniels (Richard Lawson) then claims her place. Others tell him it’s a matter of voting. A favorite is Mama Loa’s adopted daughter, Lisa Fortier (Pam Grier). Willis leaves, furious, and buys bones he intends to resurrect for revenge like a golem or a zombie, except it’s a vampire.
Silly boy. He has to know something’s going to bite him in the rear end, maybe not literally.
At first, nothing seems to be working, so he sits in the living room and drinks a beer, the brand label fully visible. (product placement?)
While he’s going over in his mind what went wrong, a shadow moves in the other room. A hand grasps the back of his neck, and soon, two fangs sink into poor Willis’ neck.
Oh, bummer. Looks like that revenge thing’s a bust.
Later, Willis, in a suit my mother would describe as “wearing colors,” asks Blacula/Prince Mamuwalde (William Marshall) why he can’t see himself in the mirror. A man has to see his face. He explains that he is going to a party. His girl is coming. His friend Justin Carter (Don Mitchell) will be displaying his African artifacts. Willis doesn’t mind being a vampire and all, but he’s still gotta go out, right?
Blacula explains a few things. Willis doesn’t leave the house without his permission. And what’s this about African artifacts…?
In a surprise to no viewer, Blacula crashes Justin’s party and proves himself the expert on the artifacts on display—first-hand knowledge. As the partygoers start dropping like flies, Blacula meets Pam. He realizes she’s powerful in voodoo and charms her. He has a plan. Could she, you know, maybe unvampire him? She agrees to try.
Thoughts:
This is a sequel to 1972’s Blacula (reviewed here). In the 18th century, African prince Mamuwalde fell victim to the vampire Dracula, who cursed him to always hunger for human blood. The prince’s wife was cursed with him. He was uppity enough to demand an end to the slave trade.
Like the earlier film, the is a blaxploitation flick. While these films provided expanding roles for black actors, they often came with their own set of stereotypes.
The first movie had Blacula trying to win over his reincarnated love, his wife. This one has him conflicted about his vampirism while, at the same time, killing people with seeming abandon, including the guy who brought him back to life. He soon has his own little army of the undead, dressed in the flower garden colors of early 1970s style.
In one odd, amusing scene, a lady of the evening walks up to Blacula and asks if he wants some company. When he doesn’t answer immediately, she gets frustrated and stomps off. Hey, time is money, ya know? Her two pimps then walk up to Blacula, insult his cape, and then things get ugly. He lectures them on enslaving a sister and instantly makes the sister a free agent.
I wouldn’t call this film Academy Award material, but it was fun. The first movie was, in my seldom humble opinion, superior, but this is still worth a view.
Its strength lies in the acting chops of the actor playing the main character, William Marshall. He’s tall with a deep voice and a commanding presence. With a background on stage—including Shakespeare—he can come across as suave and sophisticated or menacing with equal force.
The ending is ambiguous. Clearly, the producers planned a sequel that never came to pass.
Scream Blacula Scream was nominated for a 1975 Golden Scroll Award for Best Horror Filmby the Academy of Science Fiction, Fantasy & Horror Films.
This movie can be watched here with a whole lot of ads.
It’s also available to rent or buy on subscription services like amazon or Apple TV.
Title: Scream Blacula Scream (1973)
Directed by
Bob Kelljan
Writing Credits
Joan Torres…(screenplay) &
Raymond Koenig…(screenplay) and
Maurice Jules…(screenplay)
Joan Torres…(story) &
Raymond Koenig…(story)
Cast (in credits order)
William Marshall…Blacula / Prince Mamuwalde
Don Mitchell…Justin Carter
Pam Grier…Lisa Fortier
Michael Conrad…Sheriff Harley Dunlop
Richard Lawson…Willis Daniels
Released: 1973
Length: 1 hour, 36 minutes
Rated: PG
Review of “The Philadelphia Story” (1940)
Back home and back to our Saturday pizza and bad movie. We gave the usual monster movies a break and watched the classic The Philadelphia Story, a movie neither of us could remember seeing before.
Plot:
C. K. Dexter Haven (Cary Grant) is packing the car with his worldly goods. Tracy—Mrs. C. K. Dexter Haven (Katharine Hepburn) has asked him to leave. She’s had enough of his drinking. While “helping” him, she hands him his pipe caddy, complete with pipes. It somehow lands forcefully on the ground. She sends his golf bag flying and breaks a club over her knee. Irritated at the petty destruction, Dexter pushes her back through the front door and onto the floor.
Two years later, Tracy, of the fabulously wealthy Lord family, is planning her wedding to nouveau-riche George Kittredge (John Howard). Her father (John Halliday) won’t be there. Her parents separated unofficially over the matter of a dancer. But then he does show up.
However, through the machinations of the owner of the gossip magazine Spy, reporter Macaulay “Mike” Connor (James Stewart) and photographer Elizabeth “Liz” Imbrie (Ruth Hussey) will be attending the wedding, posing as friends of Tracy’s brother, who lives in Argentina.
Providing cover for Mike and Liz is Dexter, Tracy’s ex-husband, who will also be attending.
Tracy’s little sister Dinah (Virginia Weidler) looks forward to seeing Dexter, as does their mother (Mary Nash). Dexter even refers to Mrs. Lord as “Mother Lord,” as if she were still his mother-in-law. Woah. Support much?
Tracy realizes “her brother’s friends” are reporters, which she only tolerates after a threat to expose her father’s indiscretions. Yet she sees that Mike is a serious writer, only taking this job to keep body and soul together. She admires him but accidentally-on-purpose ruins Liz’s camera.
So, the night before the wedding, she has three men circling her: her fiancé, her ex-husband, and the reporter. She gets uncharacteristically drunk after the pre-wedding dinner and goes for an innocent-enough swim with Mike. Both Dexter and George witness Mike carrying the smashed Tracy to her bedroom.
And they aren’t the only ones watching.
Thoughts:
The Philadelphia Story is a romantic comedy adapted from a play of the same name written by Philip Barry. It was remade in 1956 as High Society as a musical with Louis Armstrong providing the music. In 1995, The Philadelphia Story was selected for preservation in the National Film Registry.
Perhaps because of the film registry, the copy we got from the library was clear, and the dialogue was easy to understand, especially for a movie so old.
There are genuinely funny scenes in it. When George tries to mount a horse, the horse walks away while he has one foot in the stirrup and another in the air. He tells “Bessie” she seems worried.
“Maybe that’s because his name is Jack,” quips Dinah.
Also, the awkwardness of husband #1 inviting himself to his ex-wife’s wedding permeates the rest of the action. Cary Grant’s Dexter is so cool. He hasn’t forgotten his pipes or his golf club. He shows no animosity toward the new guy, someone he knows but considers beneath Tracy.
However, he has some unresolved issues with his old flame, and he—the erstwhile drunk who pushed her down—lectures her on how cold and unforgiving toward imperfection in herself or another human being she is. She wants to be worshipped from afar.
Hmm…. Is there a reason anyone, man or woman, must accept a physically abusive person who has an addiction—even if that abuse was “minor”? One might choose to do so for various reasons, but where does it say that it is a requirement?
Her father lectures her on how having an affectionate daughter keeps a man feeling young and, therefore, without a need for philandering. Huh? So her father’s stepping out with the dancer was her fault?
Tracy eventually sees the light and makes the right choice. Or something.
If I’d been writing the movie, the ending would be something like having Tracy cancel the wedding, but hey—we’ve got everyone here. The caterer and the staff have worked hard. Let’s have a non-reception party. The next day, Tracy can start looking for a job.
The movie garnered eight awards and eleven nominations, including a 1941 Academy Award nomination for Best Picture.
I liked a lot about this movie. There was some sheer silliness in it that was just plain fun. But I felt an underlying vein of misogyny that I can’t ignore.
The movie can be watched on Tubi with a whole slew of ads:
or on the Internet Archive:
Part 1:
Part 2:
It can also be rented or bought at places like YouTube, Amazon, and AppleTV.
Title: The Philadelphia Story (1940)
Directed by
George Cukor
Writing Credits
Donald Ogden Stewart…(screenplay)
Philip Barry…(based on the play by)
Waldo Salt…(contributing writer) (uncredited)
Cast (in credits order)
Cary Grant…C. K. Dexter Haven
Katharine Hepburn…Tracy Samantha Lord
James Stewart…Macaulay “Mike” Connor
Ruth Hussey…Elizabeth “Liz” Imbrie
John Howard…George Kittredge
Released: 1940
Length: 1 hour, 52 minutes
Mother’s Day: a Rant
Last night, I dreamed several of my closest friends died.
I’m at the point in life where I attend memorials with increasing frequency and weddings hardly at all, but the dream was not about that. It was about a Mother’s Day visit with family. We are not close. There are no bad feelings that I’m aware of. We just don’t talk outside of holidays and the occasional birthday.
About six weeks before the visit, the younger of my two sisters (sister #2) texted me that she and the other siblings were gathering in Tucson for Mother’s Day, which is about an eight-hour drive for my husband and me. This sister was coming from Alaska, so I can’t say I was coming from the greatest distance.
Our mother is 83. She, my brother, his wife, and their daughter live in Tuscon. Our father died young. My sisters’ father and Mom divorced many years ago, and she never remarried. My sisters’ father died some time ago. I had not spoken to him in some thirty years.
Mom lost her older sister (with whom she lived when she first immigrated to the U.S.) a long time ago. Both her brothers are now gone also. Her parents died before she left her native country.
When my husband and I arrived at the hotel in Tucson Friday evening, hot and tired, I texted Mom, my brother and his wife, sister # 1, her wife, and sister #2—the one who’d sent the invitation. We had plans to visit the Air and Space Museum early Saturday. They would visit the Farmer’s Market. Rather than go out on Sunday—too many other people with the same idea—my brother’s wife would host a lunch at their place.
On Saturday morning (not too early), I texted that we’d probably be done with the Air and Space Museum by 11 and asked what the plans were. “Should we meet at Mom’s?” I suggested.
“We are at the Farmer’s Market,” sister #1 texted. “I’ll text when we are leaving.”
That was the last I heard from her.
“We’ll text when we leave here,” sister #1’s wife texted. “We’ll find a place to meet.”
That was the last I heard from her.
At 12:42, I texted, “Back at the hotel watching the Weather Channel. Any news?”
Crickets chirped.
I gave up and texted my brother to ask what time the Mother’s Day lunch was the next day.
“Twelve o’clock noon,” sister #1 texted back.
My husband and I went to lunch at a nice Mediterranean restaurant and returned to the room again. We checked out the pool at the hotel, as the temperature was in the 90s. Unsupervised kidlets had the run of the place. We returned to the room, watched TV, and had dinner at the hotel. We caught a biopic of Marie Curie.
Outside of a friend of my brother’s who invited me to dinner as a joke, thinking I didn’t know he was in town, none of the family contacted us. Yeah, pretty damn funny.
I was steaming. We’d booked a hotel room and driven eight hours, only to sit around while the family was out somewhere partying. Uh, yeah. Thanks for the invite.
We did make it to the pool Sunday morning before the kidlets took over. For a while, we had it to ourselves.
We attended the Mother’s Day lunch and socialized, catching up with almost everyone. My mother said having everyone together was the best Mother’s Day. We left after a few hours—the first to bow out. I thanked my brother and sister-in-law for their hospitality. We returned to the hotel room and watched a little more TV while packing up.
We left early the next morning for our eight-hour drive without talking to the family.
I’m glad we went. It meant a lot to my mother. She won’t be around forever.
But hell (or maybe Tucson) will freeze over before I return to Tucson.
Review of “The Man Who Killed Don Quixote” (2018)
We watched an oddball film for our Saturday pizza and bad movie night, a sad movie that dealt with dreams, fantasy v. reality, guilt, and a bit of insanity.
Plot:
The movie opens the line: And now… after more than 25 years of making… and unmaking.
The viewer first sees a storybook of Don Quixote and Sancho Panza riding along the road. “I was born by the special will of heaven in this age of iron to restore the lost age of chivalry,” the narrator says.
Don Quixote (José Luis Ferrer) and Sancho (Ismael Fritschi) ride up a path. As the mist clears, Don Quixote spies a giant.
“It’s a windmill,” Sancho says.
Don Quixote rides full till at the windmill, getting his lance caught in one of the blades. He’s carried aloft.
“That’s a wrap,” says an off-camera voice.
A caption on the screen reads, “Shooting a commercial… somewhere in Spain.”
Later, at a working dinner, the director Toby (Adam Driver) notices a local (Óscar Jaenada) selling a copy of a student movie he made ten years earlier, The Man Who Killed Don Quixote.
The Boss (Stellan Skarsgård) (I guess the guy who is in charge of financing the movie?) tells him he’s going away for a while and wants him to look after his wife Jacqui (Olga Kurylenko).
Toby agrees, thinking he can watch his old black-and-white student film in her suite. She wants sex and sets out to seduce him. Once he tears his eyes away from the screen, he’s willing enough. Unfortunately, the Boss comes home at an inopportune time. Toby barely gets away with his DVD.
He continues watching the film in his room. In one of many odd sequence changes, the viewer sees Tody interview the cobbler Javier (Jonathan Pryce), trying to talk him into playing Don Quixote, speaking to him in poor Spanish. He also recruits Angelica (Joana Ribeiro), the fifteen-year-old daughter of the innkeeper,
He realizes the place they’re currently working is near where he made the student film, Los Sueños (= “dreams”). While the crew is setting up, he borrows (commandeers?) a motorcycle and heads off alone.
In short, he finds that his student film ruined the lives of both Javier and Angelica.
Thoughts:
The movie is long and profoundly sad on many levels. Elements of the absurd also abound, however. At one point, Toby and the young man who sold him the copy of his film have been arrested. Javier arrives on horseback, believing that he is Don Quixote and that Toby is Sancho Panza, and attacks the squad car they are riding in, demanding that Toby be released.
Now, there’s something you don’t see every day.
The movie plays with timelines and reality. Toby later falls into a cave where he finds the corpse of a horse with a saddlebag full of pieces of gold. He stuffs his pockets full of the gold. But is it still gold in the light of day?
In one sequence from the black-and-white student film, a smiling Dulcinea holds a cup of water out to a thirsty Don Quixote. She spills it, then disappears. The sequence is short but says a lot.
Adam Driver is excellent as Toby. He portrays him as arrogant in the early parts of the movie then often confused and guilt-ridden later on. He shows compassion for the apparently insane Javier, even when Javier, convinced he’s Sancho Panza, treats him like a servant and refers to his “peasant” sensibilities.
Jonathan Pryce makes a great Don Quixote—and a great cobbler. He’s credible in both roles and, just as the literary Don Quixote was sincere and delusional, so is his character. I don’t know whose idea it was for him to wear his helmet crooked, but it works well.
The story is hard to follow in places. Sometimes, not everything makes complete sense, at least not on the first go-around. Despite genuinely funny situations and lines, there is an underlying sadness throughout the movie, which the ending does not redeem.
This film received five awards and twelve nominations from various European film academies and festivals, including two Goya Awards and three nominations from the Academy of Cinematographic Arts and Sciences of Spain.
I can easily recommend this film for adults. It takes some thought and is not something to watch when you’re in the mood for a bit of light entertainment, though there are plenty of funny moments. Nevertheless, if you’re in the mood for a flick that leaves you with questions and sadness, this is it.
The movie can be streamed here: Watch The Man Who Killed Don Quixote (2018) Online for Free | The Roku Channel | Roku
Title: The Man Who Kill Don Quixote (2018)
Directed by
Terry Gilliam
Writing Credits
Terry Gilliam…(written by) &
Tony Grisoni…(written by)
Miguel de Cervantes y Saavedra…(novel)
Cast (in credits order)
José Luis Ferrer…Don Quixote (commercial)
Ismael Fritschi…Sancho Panza (commercial) (as Ismael Fritzi)
Juan López-Tagle…Spanish Propman (as Juan López Tagle)
Adam Driver…Toby
William Miller…1st AD – Bill
Will Keen…Producer
Released: 2018
Length: 2 hours, 12 minutes
Review of “Argylle” (2024)
Yeah, it is that silly.
This was a break from our usual Saturday night pizza and bad movie. It was an amalgam of Romancing the Stone, The Kingsman, a little bit (perhaps unintentionally) of Get Smart, and a dash of The Sopranos.
Plot:
Dressed in a dark green Nehru jacket, suave Agent Aubrey Argylle (Henry Cavill) approaches several elegantly dressed women sitting in a booth in a nightclub. He asks one to dance, knowing full well she is the enemy Agent Lagrange (Dua Lipa).
During a rather bizarre dance over a Medusa’s head on the floor, Lagrange lets Argylle know she knows who he is, pulls a gun on him, and demands he disarm. (Where did she conceal her piece in that rather revealing dress?). She snaps her fingers, and the entire night club pulls out their handguns.
Oh, didn’t things go south in a hurry.
Argylle speaks into his watch, asking his partners, Keira (Ariana DeBose) and Wyatt (John Cena), for help. The space fills with fog and gunfire. A car chase through narrow winding streets of a Greek seaside city follows. Keira is shot. Wyatt and Argylle nab Lagrange.
While the three drink coffee at a café, Lagrange poisons herself before she reveals who she’s working for. Wyatt and Argylle realize they’re working for the same corrupt people and break off communications with their bosses. Argylle wonders who he can trust…
Echoing his words is mild-mannered author of spy novels, Elly Conway (Bryce Dallas Howard), reading the conclusion of her fourth Argylle book at a reading. One fan notes that other spy novel authors, such as Ian Fleming, were actually spies. Is she?
“Of course not. I’m a writer. But that’s what I’d say if I were a spy.”
Later, at home, she discusses the fifth novel with her mother (Catherine O’Hara), who reads all her books. Mom doesn’t like the ending. There should be more, she says. She doesn’t like the cliffhanger and urges her to come up with more.
Elly gets on a train (she hates flying) with her cat, Alfie, to visit her mother. Much to her dismay, a guy with long hair and a beard (Sam Rockwell), sits across from her, claiming to love cats. He’s reading one of her books and soon realizes she matches the author pic. He mentions that his line of work is “espionage” and tells her what her books get right and wrong. Another little tidbit is that her books seem to predict events. The good guys, for whom he works, and “the Division:”—the bad guys—have both noticed. There are people who will do her harm.
She believes none of it until a fan walks up to her and asks her to sign a book with a pen that turns into a knife.
A fight ensues involving nearly the whole train. Elly’s new friend, Aiden, is victorious, bursting out of the back of the train, holding onto Elly with Alfie in a backpack and soaring over the landscape in a parachute.
Elly passes out.
Thoughts:
…so, a spy novel author writes novels that seem to predict things in the spy world. The good guys and the Division (I guess “Kaos “was taken?) want her to figure things out? The fighting is over the top. My dearly beloved expressed sympathy for the stunt people—and there were a lot of them. I have to echo that. Punches and kicks and falls and knife wounds abound. Only the bad guys die, however. Sometimes, the good guys bleed, but it’s generally only flesh wounds.
The movie is also more than two hours long and full of twists and turns. At the same time, a lot of it is transparent. Not all of my predictions turned out to be correct, but the surprises were few and far between. It left me, as a viewer, with the feeling of been-here-before.
And poor Alfie the cat was quite put upon. I realize that in most scenes where Alfie suffers, things one would never inflict on a cat are CGI. Nevertheless, I wouldn’t blame him if he packed up his kibble and catnip and left for greener pastures.
Having said all that, to enjoy this movie, do not take it seriously. It is a spoof. It is people playing. I’ve read reviews of people saying it’s the worst waste of time ever, that the leading actress is just not right for the part, etc. I see these as unnecessarily harsh. Not everyone is going to like any movie, of course. I found the woman playing Elly Conway just fine. She has to switch many different roles and moods—MacGyvering a pair of ice skates with knives, for example. We won’t discuss the probability of skating on crude oil, however.
The movie is silly. The fights are frequent and preposterous. The solutions are unlikely and convoluted. And there is too little of Samuel L. Jackson.
I rolled my eyes at parts of the movie, chuckled at some of it, and found it all deeply silly. An Easter egg-ish bit midway through the credits features a young agent Argylle and ties this universe to the Kingsman universe. According to Wikipedia, two more Argylle movies are in the works.
It’s hard for me to make a recommendation. If this sounds like something you would like, you will probably like it. If it doesn’t sound appealing to you, it probably won’t work.
Because the movie is so recent, streaming it for free is unavailable. You can watch with a subscription to Apple TV or rent or buy it (for a mere $19.99!) at places like YouTube, Amazon, or Google Play, according to Justwatch. YIKES! Maybe the local library has a copy.
Title: Argylle (2004)
Directed by
Matthew Vaughn
Writing Credits
Jason Fuchs…(written by)
Cast (in credits order)
Henry Cavill…Argylle
Daniel Singh…Armed Guard #1
Dua Lipa…Lagrange
Ariana DeBose…Keira
Richard E. Grant…Director Fowler
John Cena…Wyatt
Bryce Dallas Howard…Elly Conway
Chip…Alfie the Cat
Samuel L. Jackson…Alfie
Released: 2024
Length: 2 hours, 19 minutes
Rated: PG-13
Review of “Three Amigos!” (1986)
Our latest Saturday night pizza and bad movie was one my dearly beloved had seen, but I hadn’t. It was a silly flick with a silly premise.
Plot:
I’ll preface this by saying that my Spanish is shaky on a good day, so those who speak it better than I do (and there are many), feel free to correct me.
In 1916, Carmen (Patrice Martinez) goes in search of someone willing to help deliver her village from the evil bandit El Guapo (“the handsome one,” Alfonso Arau), who is extorting protection money from its good people. She wanders into a movie showing the adventures of “The Three Amigos,” silent film heroes who rescue the helpless and defeat the oppressor. For some unfathomable reason, she gets the idea they are real and sends them a telegram to Hollywood, California, asking them to help her village of Santo Poco (“Saint Little?”).
Because she doesn’t have enough money for the entire telegram, the operator whittles it down to an easily misinterpreted message.
Meanwhile, in Hollywood, the Three Amigos—Lucky Day (Steve Martin), Dusty Bottoms (Chevy Chase), and Ned Nederlander (Martin Short)—are busy being fired by the studio. They are also evicted from their studio housing. In this situation, they receive a telegram, apparently inviting them to a town in Mexico to put on a show or maybe make a movie with someone named El Guapo. What have they got to lose?
In the meantime, a German pilot, wearing his headgear, enters a cantina also looking for El Guapo. He easily kills several patrons, then tells the bartender he’s expecting friends. He hopes they’ll be treated with more respect than he was.
When the Three Amigos swing into town, dressed in the (stolen) costumes and enormous sombreros, the cantina patrons assume they must be the German’s friends. Thinking they’ve been recognized, the Three Amigos perform a song and dance number for those assembled.
Fortunately, Carmen sees them and brings them back to Santo Poco, where they’re treated like heroes.
Thoughts:
First, this is silly. El Guapo and his band of bad guys are violent thugs, but they also like hanging out and drinking tequila. El Guapo’s number two is named Jefe (Tony Plana). “Jefe,” if memory serves, means “boss.”
For El Guapo’s birthday, the boys of the gang string the courtyard with pinata. They chip in and buy him a present—a sweater. He’s delighted. The Three Amigos try swinging in on the lines holding the pinatas up. Their fates vary, but all are equally improbable.
One scene early on has the Three Amigos performing in a silent movie, complete with greasepaint, exaggerated expressions, and intertitles, whipping bad guy hind end and saving a damsel in distress. It doesn’t last long, but I found the sheer goofiness of it one of the funniest in the whole movie.
Another oddball scene is when the three set out looking for El Guapo and spend the first night in the desert, sleeping on the horses’ saddles. Ned spooks at hearing a coyote howl. The other two start singing “Blue Shadows on the Trail” (written by Randy Newman) to put him at ease, and he doesn’t bat an eye when other animals—a mountain lion, a coyote—appear. A desert tortoise vibes alone with their lullaby for Ned.
Steve Martin wrote part of the movie along with Randy Newman, who wrote several of the songs used in it.
While I enjoyed the silly parts—and they abounded in this flick—I couldn’t quite buy some of the basic ideas. Why would Carmen think the Three Amigos were heroes rather than actors? Why was El Guapo extorting the poor people of Santo Poco for protection money? They didn’t have any money. No one ran any businesses to speak of. There was one cantina. Were they paying him in chickens?
If you can overlook the plot holes and the parts that didn’t quite make sense, this movie is a lot of fun. The abundant silly parts help the viewer ignore the parts where the seams don’t exactly match.
Overall, I liked the movie.
The movie can be watched here on Tubi with a whole slew of ads or rented here on YouTube.
Title: Three Amigos! (1986)
Directed by
John Landis
Writing Credits
Steve Martin…(written by) and
Lorne Michaels…(written by) and
Randy Newman…(written by)
Cast (in credits order)
Steve Martin…Lucky Day
Chevy Chase…Dusty Bottoms
Martin Short…Ned Nederlander
Alfonso Arau…El Guapo
Tony Plana…Jefe
Patrice Martinez…Carmen
Released: 1986
Length: 1 hour, 44 minutes
Rated: PG
Stories Published
I had two pieces of flash fiction published recently. They are really, really short.
The first is called “The Photographer’s Lament.” It appeared April 1 in an online magazine called Spank the Carp.
The second is called “I Dare You.” It appeared April 4 in an online magazine called Bright Flash Literary Review.
I’m jazzed. And I had fun picking out the pics.
Review of “The Shadow” (1994)
For our Saturday pizza and bad movie, we watched a relatively recent flick, one the dearly beloved liked back in the day but I’d never heard of.
Plot:
Between the two world wars, Lamont Cranston (Alec Baldwin) makes a living as a drug lord in Tibet. Maybe he lost his way looking for Shangri-La? He calls himself Yo-King and spends his days assassinating rivals in the trade. He’s a cold drug lord, even ordering the death of one of his own men if it makes killing a rival easier.
One day, armed men break into his evil lair(?), kidnap him, and bring him to a holy man known as the Tulku (Barry Dennen). The Tulku offers Yo-King the chance to redeem himself for all the horrible things he’s done. Yo-King refuses. However, the Tulku has supernatural powers and controls a supernatural sentient knife, the Phurba. It’s an offer he can’t refuse.
Seven years later, Lamont Cranston is living in New York City, having learned how to manipulate people’s minds by reading their thoughts, telepathy, and hypnosis. Without becoming invisible, he convinces people they don’t see him. But instead of hobnobbing with opium dealers, he rescues people from gangsters—with a catch.
His rescuees become his agents, complete with a ring. Their duties include passing along information and performing tasks at the behest of the Shadow. Only Cranston’s driver, Moe Shrevnitz (Peter Boyle), knows his true identity.
One night, Cranston has dinner with his Uncle Wainwright (Jonathan Winters), the Police Commissioner, at the Cobalt Club. Uncle Wainwright is irritated that Lamont can never show up to any appointment on time. What does he do with his time? A beautiful young woman sits down by herself at a table near them. Cranton is smitten.
Uncle Wainwright warns him to stay away from her because she hears voices. She’s Margo Lane (Penelope Ann Miller), the daughter of Reinhardt Lane (Ian McKellen), who works for the War Department.
Lamont sends a bottle of wine to her table and introduces himself. In talking to her, he realizes that she can read his mind. Oddly, she doesn’t quite grasp her ability. Ooooh. This isn’t going to work out for someone who has a secret identity…
At the end of the evening, he tries to put his whammy on her, telling her, “You will forget all about me.”
She laughs and asks, “Why would I do that?”
Thoughts:
The movie reflects comic books more than the old radio shows or movies about the Shadow. The Shadow has supernatural powers of sorts that he learned from a master, the Tulku. He’s doing good—violently—protecting the innocent and those who can’t defend themselves to make up for a violent past. When Uncle Wainwright grumbles about the latest of the Shadow’s escapades, Lamont merely talks him out of doing anything about it.
What’s a superhero without a supervillain? Shiwan Khan (John Lone), the last descendant of Genghis Khan, was also a student of the Tulku but apparently failed the redemption courses. He arrived at a museum in the solid silver sarcophagus of Genghis Khan and wants to rule the world.
Shiwan Khan is a naughty supervillain, able to talk anyone into killing themselves. One death involves a leap off the Empire State Building.
Much of the action is over-the-top. Lamont’s driver, Moe, routinely lifts one wheel off the ground as he turns corners in his low-center-of-gravity, needle-nose 1930s behemoth. Tim Curry’s performance as the creepy Farley Claymore, who hits on Margo and turns to the dark side when Shiwan Khan comes to call, is in a category all its own. This is a comic book come to life, more like a superhero movie than an old crime drama.
There are a couple of plot holes and missteps in the narrative. Reality never stands in the way of a good story. All in all, I enjoyed this, but I can see where people might not buy into it.
The movie was nominated for four Saturn Awards from the Academy of Science Fiction, Fantasy & Horror Films in 1995: 1) Penelope Ann Miller for Best Actress; 2) Jerry Goldsmith for Best Music; 3) Bob Ringwood for Best Costumes; and 4) Best Special Effects.
I could not find this movie to stream anywhere, sadly.
Title: The Shadow (1994)
Directed by
Russell Mulcahy
Writing Credits (WGA)
Walter B. Gibson…(character The Shadow from stories)
David Koepp…(written by)
Cast (in credits order)
Alec Baldwin…Lamont Cranston/The Shadow
John Lone…Shiwan Khan
Penelope Ann Miller…Margo Lane
Peter Boyle…Moe Shrevnitz
Ian McKellen…Reinhardt Lane
Tim Curry..Farley Claymore
Jonathan Winters…Police Commissioner Wainwright Barth
Released: 1994
Length: 1 hour, 48 minutes
Review of “The Comedy of Terrors” (1963)
Our Saturday pizza and bad movie night featured a flick we’d seen before, a spoof on horror flicks. It plays with tropes familiar in both horror and comedy.
Plot:
Waldo Trumbull (Vincent Price) and his assistant Felix Gillie (Peter Lorre) run a funeral business in late 19th century New England, cutting corners by reusing the same casket—for years. The opening scene shows them waiting for the mourners to leave a funeral, dumping the deceased into the open grave, loading the casket into their horse-drawn hearse, and quickly throwing dirt over the poor man.
Waldo drinks. Felix is a convicted bank robber and a picklock, the latter an ability that seems to have helped him escape from prison. They’re not above drumming up business by murdering by smothering (wealthy) sleeping victims with a pillow.
At home, Waldo verbally abuses his wife, Amaryllis (Joyce Jameson), who complains she gave up an opera career to marry him. Her singing—suffice to say it has to be heard to be appreciated.
Felix thinks she sings like a nightingale. He’s in love with her.
Amaryllis’ elderly father, Hinchley (Boris Karloff), who founded the funeral business his son-in-law now runs, is ill and deaf. Waldo threatens to add “medicine” from a bottle marked “POISON” to his food. Amaryllis always intervenes, much to the dismay of her clueless father.
And now, threatening to bring all that domestic harmony to a screeching halt, Waldo’s landlord, Mr. Black (Basil Rathbone), demands Waldo pay his back rent—one year’s worth—within twenty-four hours—or he will evict the lot of them.
Waldo snarls at Mr. Black as he walks off, but as he later tells Mr. Gillie, he has an idea how he might kill two birds with one pillow.
Thoughts:
The viewer has to accept the absurdity of the various situations before enjoying this movie. Waldo is nasty to his wife. He repeatedly threatens to kill his father-in-law. His wife acts like this is a simple annoyance, as if he left the toilet seat up. Despite Felix’s fumbling attempts at romancing her, she remains faithful to him—until she doesn’t.
Much to the delight of Waldo and Mr. Gilles, the doctor pronounces Mr. Black dead before they get a chance to suffocate him.
“Are you sure?” Mr. Black’s servant asks. “He had cataleptic* fits.”
The doctor has no doubts.
The viewer sees Mr. Black’s nose twitch. Apparently, he’s allergic to Amaryllis’s cat, Cleopatra.
The title is a play on Shakespeare’s A Comedy of Errors. In an homage to reciting bad Shakespeare, before things go south for him, Mr. Black is sitting in bed with a book that looks like a dinner menu, reading from the bard aloud in a deep, sonorous voice. He gets out of bed, picks up a sword, and slices several candles before jabbing it through a screen where Mr. Gillie is hiding, missing him by a hair. It is amusing and quite silly.
In another slapstick scene, Waldo and Mr. Gillie creep up a staircase lined with plaster busts on pedestals. They’re looking for a “client.” The viewer knows what’s going to happen.
Toward the end of the movie, many people who seem dead make a comeback.
I could not find this available for free. According to Justwatch, it can be rented on YouTube or GooglePlay or watched on AppleTV, however.
I had a lot of fun with this, but I wouldn’t want to invite any of these characters over for dinner.
* A state of immobility. In literature, it’s often used to mimic death.
Title: Comedy of Terrors (1963)
Directed by
Jacques Tourneur
Writing Credits
Richard Matheson…(screenplay)
Richard Matheson…(novel) (uncredited)
Elsie Lee…(novel)(uncredited)
Cast (in credits order)
Vincent Price…Waldo Trumbull
Peter Lorre…Felix Gillie
Boris Karloff…Hinchley
Joyce Jameson…Amaryllis
Joe E. Brown…Cemetery Keeper
Beverly Powers…Mrs. Phipps (as Beverly Hills)
Basil Rathbone…Mr. Black
Released: 1963
Length: 1 hour, 24 minutes
Reviews of Old and New Stories. Mostly Old 